


Giving and Receiving

by sunflower1343



Category: Finder no Hyouteki | Finder Series
Genre: M/M, Takaba on top
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-20
Updated: 2017-04-20
Packaged: 2018-10-21 08:34:31
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,647
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10681620
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunflower1343/pseuds/sunflower1343
Summary: Takaba is feeling insecure about his place in Asami's and his relationship and demands the impossible. Only maybe it isn't impossible, just this once.





	Giving and Receiving

**Author's Note:**

> I think this was one of first fics anyone wrote with Takaba topping Asami when I posted it back in 2008, so I was really nervous posting it, but I had a lot of friends giving me input and supporting me and so thanks to them as always!
> 
> I've included at the end a brief glimpse of Asami's POV of this that I'd written as an exercise while writing the fic. I'd originally posted it just for my LJ friends but they enjoyed seeing it so I included it here. Written August 2008.
> 
> ~~~~~~~~~~

"A...Asami?"

"Hmm?"

The man didn't even look up from his morning newspaper. It was a typical start to a typical day. Akihito fiddled with the cold, last piece of toast on the plate before him. He wouldn't normally push it, but the drunken remarks of his friends the night before wouldn't leave him alone. 

What they'd said had gone beyond the usual teasing. It had been cutting and it had hurt, bad. Yeah, they'd been drunk, but it touched on something inside that he'd been carrying around for a while and he couldn't stop thinking about it, he couldn't stop wondering if he'd become so warped he no longer realized that something was wrong with him. Was this how Asami saw him too? He just needed to know...

"Asami..."

This time amused golden eyes flickered across his face, examining it briefly before resuming their perusal of the financial news. "I believe I've heard that part already. Is there something you want? A new necklace perhaps? A day at the spa?"

"You're such a prick sometimes. Never mind." Of course. Why expect reassurance from a man who hates anyone or anything needy? He tossed the piece of toast on the table and rose to his feet. He had better things to do. But before he could get away, Asami had his wrist in a powerful grip and was dragging him around the table and into his lap.

"Is my wife unhappy?" he asked, his eyes laughing.

He knew Asami was only teasing, but right there, right then, that was the wrong thing to say. He snatched an untouched bowl of rice from the table and slammed it on Asami's head. Upside down. "Would you like fries with that?" His ketchup-covered fried potatoes followed. He was reaching for the coffee when a suit-clad arm swept across the table knocking it all to the floor and the next thing he knew he was taking its place, staring up at the ceiling, Asami looming over him with that deadly bored look on his face that meant he was seething with anger. 

"I assume you have an explanation for this behavior?" Asami roughly brushed at his hair with one hand, sending white grains flying everywhere. The other was firmly clamped down on Akihito's wrists.

There was a heat building between Akihito's legs that was hard to ignore. But he was pissed too and that made it easier to shout and struggle. "I'm not your fucking wife! I'm a man. Why can't you get that through your thick head? We're two men, got it? I'm sick of your fucking jokes. Yours and everyone else's. What do I have to do to get through to you?"

Asami stared at him, eyes still cold but understanding dawning in them. "Just what did your friends say last night?"

Trust Asami to see exactly what was going on. He didn't want to repeat it. They hadn't meant any harm. But it had hurt, and he wasn't sure if Asami would hurt them. "T-that's not important. W-what's important is you." 

Asami shrugged as if to say, " _Of course. So what?_ "

"It's what _you're_ saying. You're doing it more and more lately. Like you're trying to turn me into a housewife you can ignore. You even bought me that outfit..." He blushed remembering the way the lace of the maid uniform had felt on his thighs.

The lust building in Asami's eyes showed that he remembered it too. 

"S-stop it! Just stop it for a minute. We can fuck later."

"Too bad for you I'm really not in the mood to wait." Asami's mouth came down on his hard, his free hand ripping his shirt open and plunging into Akihito's drawstring pants. There was no more room for coherent thought.

Twenty minutes and two pats of butter later, Akihito lay in a relaxed daze across the table just listening to the sound of the shower running until it finally turned off.

That hadn't gone well. At least, not as he'd planned it. And still no answer, as usual. He rolled off the table, avoiding the overturned dishes and food on the floor, and made his way into the bedroom. Asami was already getting dressed in front of the full-length mirror in the corner.

Akihito leaned against the wall, arms folded, careless of his own nudity for once. "Your ignoring the question doesn't make it any less valid. It makes it even more valid as far as I'm concerned."

Asami's reflected gaze met his, still seemingly bored. Akihito knew better. The man wasn't done being pissed at him.

"Oh, was there a question in that tantrum that I missed?"

"Yeah, there was. What's with you lately? Are you bored with us or something?" _Am I too easy now, an afterthought instead of a challenge? What are you seeing when you look at me? Are you even seeing a man?_ He couldn't yet work up the nerve to ask those particular questions.

"I like spice in my relationships. I like to keep things varied. I'm only attempting to keep us alive."

"Varied, huh? Okay then. Let me do you."

Asami stopped cold. "I beg your pardon?"

"You want variation. Me on top would be a variation. Put your money where your mouth is, Asami."

Asami was across the room, pressing him into the wall with his entire body. "Is that the point of this whole thing? That you need to feel like a man and you think fucking me will do it? It'll take a lot more than that Akihito, if that's the case. Look for your answers inside you, not inside me."

Akihito felt like he'd been slapped. Asami was right of course. They were all right. His inadequacies were his fault, not anyone else's. His shoulders slumped. He couldn't meet Asami's eyes. "I'm sorry." 

"What? What do you mean?" Asami's voice sounded harsher now that he'd apologized. It didn't make sense.

"You're right. I'm sorry. It's my fault, not yours. I shouldn't have taken it out on you."

Asami's grip eased, his tone softened. "Akihito, I'd want you if you were a man or a woman, but I far prefer you as a man."

"Then why...?" God, he was whining. Like a girl. "No, never mind, I'm sorry."

"Stop apologizing!" 

"I can't help it! That's who I am, right? Maybe it's just time I accepted that too."

He heard a clunk and looked up in surprise to see Asami's head resting against the wall. "A-Asami...?"

"Fine. If that's what you want, that's what you'll get. Once, just once." Asami backed away and started pulling his clothes off. "Or do you want to undress me too?"

He stared, stunned, unmoving. 

"I suppose that means it's up to me? As usual? This isn't going to work Akihito, if you don't take any initiative. Are you sure you're up to it?"

It was beyond his comprehension that Asami would agree to this. For him. He didn't know what to do. He knew what to do, sure, but it just felt so.... strange. So he did nothing.

"Akihito?" Asami had stopped with a sigh and was watching him. "Akihito. Being a man means stepping up and taking charge. You know that."

"I... I know. I need to think about this. I just..." He stepped forward and rose to his toes, kissing Asami lightly upon the lips. "Thank you, for what you just did. I really love you."

He turned and ran into the bathroom, leaving a thoughtful-looking Asami behind him.

 

\--

 

It stayed with him all morning, that scene in the bedroom. Asami had been gone when he'd finally got out of the shower. He'd hoped he would be, because he was really confused and just needed some time to think.

During the long drive to work he tried to picture what he was requesting, and failed. Asami on his hands and knees? No. Asami on his back with his legs spread? No. Asami bent over the back of the couch? Just... no. It was just too foreign to his mind. It wasn't even a possibility in the real world. Heck, it wasn't even a fantasy of his.

It was best just to drop it. It would be stupid to push for something that neither one of them wanted, just because he was feeling inadequate. Fucking Asami wouldn't make him any more a man. Acting like a man would make him feel like one. He just wasn't sure what that meant anymore. He only knew he was unhappier than he'd been in a long time.

By the time he got home that night, a grueling day of photography at the new war memorial had left him tired and depressed, and he was no longer thinking about the dust-up from that morning. So he was very surprised to walk into their apartment to find it changed.

The normally spare Western living room was gone, replaced by a Japanese tatami room, the Western furniture replaced by a traditional Japanese dining setting for one. His shoes already off, he stepped in to look around. It was odd, but nice. He'd liked the couch and big screen TV though, and wondered where they and his games were. A rustle behind him made him turn. He stared, confused.

Asami stood before him wearing traditional Japanese robes, dark blue, a heavy silk. He bowed slightly, the robes gaping a little. Akihito had trouble removing his gaze from the smooth skin that was revealed, but his attention was pulled upward when Asami spoke. "Welcome home. Would you like a bath before dinner? The water is hot."

Akihito blushed deeply. Of all he might have expected, this was not it. He'd been planning to take a shower, sure, but this made him feel uncertain of himself about even that.

Asami stood waiting though, an enigmatic look on his face, and Akihito somehow knew they'd stay like this until he answered Asami's question. 

"Um, yeah, I need a bath. That sounds good, thanks..."

Asami led him to the bedroom and began removing his clothing. At first he was merely unbuttoning his shirt, or so Akihito thought. He became aware of Asami's fingers trailing lightly along his body as they moved along the buttons, popping each one free, then slipping down to the next. By the time the shirt was slipped off his shoulders, his hard-on was pushing his jeans to the limit. 

He waited for Asami to pounce, but it didn't happen, and when Asami gracefully sank to the floor in front of him and reached for his zipper he nearly came from the sight. But Asami did nothing overt. He never even raised his eyes. He simply helped Akihito out of his jeans and underwear, albeit with subtle touches that gave Akihito the feeling of being seduced. 

Asami rose to his feet and held out his hand, waiting. He always held the power, but was offering command of the situation to Akihito. Akihito knew what that cost him and could not refuse the gesture. He took Asami's hand and let himself be led into the bathroom.

"Sit." Asami indicated the stool, something new to the room. They'd always used the shower. "I'll wash you."

His cock jumped.

"I-I can..." But he couldn't finish the thought.

Asami stood before him, his piercing eyes demanding more, but waiting.

"O-Okay."

Asami started to turn and reach for some soap and cloths, but paused. "Is this what you really want?"

Akihito hesitated. Asami was trying pretty hard for something here. He should go along with it. "Yes, it's what I want."

He sat. And fidgeted. In a little while, a warm soapy cloth started moving across his back and shoulders. It was soothing after the long day, and felt good. A long sigh escaped.

"Did you have a difficult day?" Asami's voice was right behind him.

"Yeah. I was up at the war memorial. It was pretty rough. There were veterans and war protesters and it was like another war, only very personal and very ugly for all of them."

"And yet you stayed and did your job, documenting all of that for the rest of us."

He hadn't really thought about it. He just did what came naturally. "Well, yeah. It was important."

"It's what I'd expect of you. Thank you for your hard work."

Akihito felt a flush grow over his whole body. "It wasn't anything special," he mumbled.

"Don't underestimate yourself."

He ducked his head a little, shy in the praise. Sometimes Asami liked to poke fun at him, but this time he knew the words were a rare and genuine compliment, and that made them precious to him.

"It must have been stressful." Asami's cloth-covered hands had finished washing his arms and were moving over his chest now. "Lean back, I'll support you."

Akihito's eyes pricked with tears at the double meaning. He didn't need support, but because of what had just been said, he realized that Asami was simply saying "Let me do this for you." He leaned back, surprised to feel wet cotton. He looked around. Asami was still clothed, wearing a light juban, his outer robes hanging by the door.

Asami watched him, and waited. Akihito knew now that what happened was up to him and he turned back around, leaning against his lover's chest. Asami's hands continued their soothing motions, dipping lower, until they brushed against his cock. The warm soapy cloth was wrapped around him there, and used to gently massage the length of him.

"Asami, you don't have to..." He was embarrassed to be receiving this attention.

The hands on him paused. "But are you enjoying it?"

It was erotic as hell. "Well, yeah... I mean, who wouldn't?"

"Then simply enjoy it." The hands resumed their motion, one below, one moving to his chest, brushing his nipples until he came, pressing back into the chest behind him, letting the arms around him support his limp body. He relaxed there a minute, barely conscious of the hands that were continuing to wash the rest of him. It wasn't until the shower hose was rinsing him that he realized Asami had done nothing else. He sat up and turned around. "Wait. Wait a minute. What about you?"

Asami was looking down, rinsing the last of the soap off Akihito's feet. He didn't look up, but the corners of his mouth lifted slightly. "You can see to my pleasure later. If you wish." 

Dammit, he was getting hard again. Why was he finding this so arousing?

Asami abruptly stood, his face again blank. "Please take your time bathing. I need to change my clothes and finish dinner. It will be ready when you are." And he was gone.

Akihito sat there for a moment, a little bewildered by all that had happened. He knew that he was supposed to be learning something from this, but all he was learning was to want this more than he'd ever wanted anything else. What did that mean for the two of them? He wasn't sure. He climbed into the bath with a sigh and relaxed, and wondered what was to come.

 

\--

 

Akihito dressed quickly after his bath, donning the light yukata he found on the bed, practically scampering back to the living room. Not only was he hungry, but this whole situation had awoken a powerful curiosity and yearning in him. The room was empty. He peered up and down the hall to see if Asami was around, but he wasn't so Akihito decided to take a chance and seat himself by the only table in the room. 

He was just getting comfortable when Asami arrived, dressed in his blue robe again, carrying a large tray. He set it in front of Akihito. "Please, help yourself."

"Stop saying please. It's weird."

Asami's lips twitched. "As you wish." He nodded toward the tray. "Your dinner."

It contained all of Akihito's favorite Japanese foods. There was a bowl of rice too, of course, and he immediately thought of that morning. "Asami, about this morning, I—"

"You've already apologized twice today. It's over with." Asami spoke mildly.

Akihito searched his eyes. "You mean that."

"Of course."

He was relieved. Asami never lied about things like that, so he truly was forgiven. "Thank you."

Asami held out a porcelain sake cup. "Would you like a drink?"

"Would you drink with me?" He looked around. "Where's your food?"

"I already ate. I'm here to take care of you."

Akihito frowned. He liked the small kindnesses, but he didn't want to be alone like this. "It's more fun when you can share these things."

"Ah, it is, and we're sharing this time together, aren't we?"

"Yes, but..."

"If you'd like we can also share your food." 

Akihito nodded. "It's what I want."

"Then perhaps you would choose something for me." There were no other chopsticks, no plates, nothing. Asami watched him expectantly. Not knowing what else to do, he picked up a piece of tempura shrimp, dipped it in its sauce, then held it to Asami's lips. Akihito's breath caught when Asami leaned forward and delicately bit off half the shrimp, licking at the juices that threatened to run onto his chin. "Half for me, half for you." 

Akihito ate the other half, the indirect kiss burning his lips. He chose another piece of food, a slice of egg. The same thing happened, Asami accepting half the food, not willing to eat all.

This time when Akihito was offered the sake, he accepted. He drank half, then passed the cup back. "Your turn." 

Asami's lips were again curved in that little smile as he silently accepted the cup, turning it so his lips would be pressed to the same spot. Akihito was starting to think it was a little hot in there.

They continued to share the small feast, Asami moving closer out of necessity, their bodies pressed together. With every sip, every shared morsel, Akihito was getting more aroused. He was also getting tired of their kisses being indirect. He watched as Asami yet again turned the sake cup, watching his lips, wanting them on his, surprised when they spoke.

"Is there something you want, Akihito?"

He blinked, startled, and looked up into Asami's eyes, expecting to see amusement, seeing only desire.

"If there is, all you have to do is take it."

His heart pounded at the thought. All he had to do was dare, and that was always easy for him. He stretched up and rubbed his lips softly on Asami's. "Kiss me." 

Asami's mouth opened to him, inviting him in, a very different way of kissing. At first he missed the invading tongue, but the slow nips and licks that teased him made him more aggressive. The sake wasn't hurting either, making him feel wilder than usual. He pushed his tongue forward, finding a rhythm, daring Asami to accept it. Asami turned his head, allowing him even greater access, pulling him in, letting him set the pace.

The ache between his legs was growing, becoming unbearable. He pushed the tray of food aside and climbed onto Asami's lap, straddling him, grinding their cocks together. Asami was hard, very hard, and it was all Akihito could do not to thrust himself down upon him. 

"What do you want, Akihito?"

He moaned, his hips moving. "Fuck me." 

Asami stopped moving. "No."

"No? Whaddya mean, no? I thought I got my way tonight."

"I mean no. If you want sex, take me." Asami leaned back on his arms, his eyelids half lowered, the folds of his silk robes parting slightly. He was like a rake after a night of debauchery, but one who still wanted all that pleasure had to offer.

Akihito's gaze moved along his body to where the clothes unexpectedly revealed skin. He could see the edge of a nipple. His mouth watered. Asami was so hard and masculine, and yet his gift of submission was putting him at Akihito's disposal. He no longer knew what he wanted, or even what to think.

"Did you like it earlier, Akihito, when my hand clamped around you, making you come?"

His eyes flew to Asami's face but he quickly lowered them, not willing to let himself be seen with the same raw honesty that Asami was allowing him.

"Did you like how I squeezed you in my soapy hands?"

He shifted, trying to prevent his clothes from rubbing his cock. He didn't want to embarrass himself by bursting just from words.

"Think how much tighter and hotter the pleasure could be."

Oh god. He didn't want to think about it but he did, he couldn't help it. He knew what he himself felt like inside. He'd had his fingers in there. He'd imagined his cock in there. But he'd never thought...

Asami sat up, his right hand slipping into Akihito's clothing, using his thumb and forefinger to circle it, tightening them, sliding them down. "Wouldn't it feel good? For the both of us?"

He was shaking. "D-don't. I d-don't... " Tears were gathering. Everything that had happened in the past twenty-four hours was throwing him off balance.

"You don't what?" Asami asked softly. "You don't want to make love to me?"

Tears were falling. It was just all too much for him. "I... I do. I want you so bad. I just don't know... I don't want you to demean yourself." 

Asami's hand raised his chin. "Look at me, Akihito. Do I look demeaned?"

Akihito reluctantly raised his eyes, letting them take in all of what Asami was showing him, all the strength and confidence and, if Akihito was going to be honest, all of the love. He shook his head. "You look beautiful."

"Ah. It's how you always look to me."

"Asami..." He loved this man so much. "It's just... I like it when you do it to me, but I don't think you'll like it if I do it to you."

"I admit it's not something I seek, but it's not new to me. I simply enjoy sex most when I control it completely. Sometimes though, Akihito, when you're in a relationship, and after these years together I think it's safe to say we are, you give up something on occasion for the other person. To be honest, that's one reason I'd avoided relationships. But ours has been unavoidable, and I accept the responsibility. Besides, I know you. You'd do your best to make it pleasurable."

"Of course I would! But, I don’t know. It hurts, too. Sometimes." He looked away. "I don't want to hurt you." He added, mumbling, "Most of the time." Akihito was still trying to wrap his mind around Asami saying he'd done this before, and not succeeding too well.

"Pain is just pleasure with an edge. I don't mind it, as long as there's both. But I do want this to be honest between us."

"I-I'm just not sure. I mean...?"

"You know what to do." Asami leaned back again, this time sliding one foot back slightly, revealing a hard, muscular thigh. Akihito longed to run his fingers up it. "Touch me. There."

He felt his cheeks burning. "I can't do that! That's... just wrong!"

"Akihito, you wanted to make me feel good earlier. You know how to. Look at me." He untied his obi, spreading his clothing wide open. He wore nothing under it, and his cock was as hard as Akihito had ever seen it. "Aren't you willing to do for me what I always do for you?"

"That's not it! Of course I am."

"Touch me." Seduction or command, he didn't know which it was, he only knew he could no longer refuse it.

His hand was trembling as he reached out and ran it up along the inside of Asami's thigh, brushing the silk aside. He slowed, hesitating as it neared the top. He rarely had the time or freedom to touch him this way, and reveled in the smooth skin that got softer the further he went. Asami's right hand had dropped to his balls and was playing with them, rolling them in his hand, lifting them to show him what was underneath. He'd licked him there before and had the urge to do it again.

Bending forward, he pushed Asami's hand aside and sucked one into his mouth and softly massaged it with his tongue. He let it slide from his mouth and turned to the other. Asami's hand had moved to his cock and he was slowly stroking himself as he watched, a look of intense pleasure on his face. That was something else Akihito didn't get a chance to pay attention to much. He was always at Asami's mercy. He loved it, but he hadn't realized he was missing out on some of the pleasures of partnership, aside from the obvious. 

His eyes didn't leave Asami's as he began licking at the underside of his balls in broad strokes, something he knew felt good. From the way his tongue felt Asami's pulse speeding up, he was liking it too. His own heart was matching it.

Could he really do this? Would Asami really let him? He wanted to make him feel so good, to give him back something for the pleasure. He was scared of so many things, not the least of which was being inadequate. But he knew being a man meant facing fears and moving past them.

His tongue moved lower, tentatively touching the small tight hole. When was the last time Asami had let anyone do this? He was inundated with jealousy for a moment, but he pushed it down. He didn't think it was anytime recent. All that mattered was that Asami was allowing _him_ , here, now. The thought overwhelmed him and he stopped a moment. "You... You don't have to do this. I love you. I know you love me. If it's just to show me that, you have."

One of the broad hands he loved caressed his hair. "That's just one of many reasons. And to be honest, I didn't expect to find it so erotic. It's never been that way for me, but apparently with you it is."

"Truly?"

"Ah."

It was the first time he felt Asami's equal in some way. It did something inside him, unlocked something he didn't know was there that burned away all his doubts. 

He bent his head and tasted his lover, wetting him, trying to coax him open with his tongue, probing at his opening, surprised to find it was relaxed and inviting. _He does want this!_ The tip pushed through the tight ring of muscle and he heard Asami draw in a quick breath. He glanced up to see Asami watching him with intense concentration, his hand still moving slowly on his cock. His own cock throbbed in response. He wanted more.

He began kissing Asami down there, a French kiss, pushing his tongue in and out in a slow motion, loving how the ass twitched and tried to pull him in.

"That's it," he heard Asami groan, "Like that."

A hand was at the back of his head, pressing them together, urging him to go deeper. He flicked his tongue around, trying to find Asami's prostate, but his tongue just wasn't long enough. The attempt was enough to set Asami's hips writhing.

"Use your fingers, Akihito. Touch me there." Asami's hand was still moving on his cock, but had sped up. Akihito could see it squeezing, and he almost came, thinking of that hand on him earlier. 

He sucked on his fingers, but realized it wasn't enough. "Where's the lube?"

Asami's hand paused. "You don't need to use any. It's only fair." 

It was as close to an apology as Akihito had ever received. But he stopped dead when he realized what else Asami was saying. "Yes. Yes I do. And if you don't understand that, then you don't understand anything about me."

Humor broke through the lust in Asami's eyes, and he fumbled in the folds of silk under him until he found a small bottle that he handed to Akihito. He had known, but he'd wanted Akihito to choose. Akihito's hand caressed his when he took the bottle, thanking him without words.

The silicone lube was slick on Akihito's fingers when he coated them, and when he pushed at Asami's entrance with two of them, they slipped easily in. This time he could reach, and he knew what to feel for. He curved his fingers upwards, searching, finding the small walnut-like organ and started rubbing it gently, watching Asami watching him. Asami's eyes lost focus and his lips parted, letting a sigh through.

It made Akihito feel powerful. "You like that."

"Ah."

"It doesn’t hurt?"

"No. No. It's... indescribable. Akihito, use your cock."

"Later, when you're ready." 

"I'm ready now."

"You're ready when I say you are." He'd never pushed for sexual control so directly, and held his breath waiting for the response. But he was putting his foot down about this.

Asami blinked and _saw_ him, and what the man saw made him smile a little. "For tonight."

Akihito sighed in relief. "Tonight is what's important." _You're what's important. Don't try to make me hurt you. I won't do it._

His fingers grazed the surface of the gland time and again, knowing just how to touch it to wring the most pleasure from it. He'd done it to himself many times. Asami's body was relaxing around his fingers, trying to give him deeper access. He slipped another finger in, testing the response. For the first time Asami's face showed something less than pleasure, but nothing that suggested pain.

"I'll stop whenever you want."

"The trick, Akihito, is to make me not want to stop."

He smiled. He would tease him mercilessly then. One hand still moving inside, he used the other to pull Asami's from his cock, then began licking it in long slow strokes, pausing now and then to flicker around the head with the tip of his tongue. Again, Asami's hand at the back of his head urged him closer. He resisted, only giving him so much sensation, knowing full well how to tease because it had been done to him so often. 

He spent time moving his attention from place to place, licking at Asami's hard thighs, coming closer to the erection that jutted out from between them, then moving away down the other leg, and then back up for a light nibble at his balls. Soon Asami's amused eyes promised retribution, but he did nothing, accepting it, enjoying it even as it clearly pushed him higher. But even he could only take so much of it.

"Akihito..."

"Hmmm?"

"No more waiting."

Akihito looked at his lover. A faint sheen of sweat covered his body as it lay open before him, the hard lines of his muscles reflecting the dim light of the room. Asami looked more like a Greek god reclining on a couch than what Akihito thought of as a bottom. His power and strength were undiminished by what was happening, and what he requested. And Akihito understood then what he was supposed to learn.

He felt no more hesitation or guilt, only love for this man who was everything to him, and he wanted to show that. Climbing up Asami's body he peppered kisses along his chest, up his throat, and jaw, and onto his slightly parted lips. "Wrap your legs around my hips," he whispered against Asami's ear, unable to look at him as he coated his cock with his free hand, guiding it to where the other still dipped and twisted inside his lover. "I want you so much. I want to make love to you so much."

Asami's hands, moving along his skin, paused briefly, tightening on his body almost painfully. 

Akihito pulled back a little to search his eyes. "What is it?"

Asami shook his head, then raised it to kiss Akihito, mouth wide open, suggestive. When the kiss ended, he separated them just a fraction, enough to talk. "Now, Akihito," he whispered.

Akihito slowly pushed against the tight ring, feeling it give way and enclose him in its grip. He could feel waves of contraction and relaxation around his cock as Asami's muscles pulsed about him. The heat of it made him swell more, and he heard Asami's breath hitch slightly at his ear. When he paused, Asami whispered, "More. I want all of you." And he pushed forward again, Asami doing the same, until their hips met and they just stopped for a moment, taking it all in.

His breathing was ragged, his emotions in even more turmoil, his body shook. Asami's hands ran soothingly along his back. "So good," whispered Asami. "More, Akihito. Move me."

Akihito began slowly thrusting his hips, trying to find the place that would make it best for his lover. "Use your fingers to find it. I can take it," Asami said against his ear.

"I don't—" he started to object. 

"Shhhh." Asami reached down and moved his hand toward where they were joined, their entwined fingers feeling him moving in and out of Asami. "So erotic..." His fingers were pushed inside, Asami tight around him, and he found the spot easily and began rubbing the head of his cock against it.

A small groan fell from Asami's lips, and he let his head fall back, eyes shut, clearly enjoying what was happening. Akihito had never seen anything so beautiful, and knowing he was causing it made his confidence grow by leaps and bounds. He started touching Asami lightly, stroking him, trying to put his emotions into every touch, into each movement of his hips. The next time he looked up he saw Asami watching him, eyes unguarded and filled with emotion. Asami _never_ let anyone see him that way, vulnerable, and the trust it showed moved Akihito beyond anything else he'd seen that night.

He bent down and softly kissed him. "You're everything to me. Everything."

Asami's arms clasped their bodies together, moving his hips. "Show me," he said, his voice rough.

Akihito again felt the hot walls around him pulse, egging him on, and he started thrusting more quickly, wringing a moan from his partner. He had to get him there quickly. He was too close to losing it. His hand grasped Asami's sweat-slicked cock and moved swiftly along its length. The muscles surrounding him contracted again. They were both near.

"Asami, don't..." he groaned.

"My name... use my name..."

"Ryuichi..." 

Asami shuddered and came, the force of it pushing Akihito over the edge, and as he emptied himself inside the man he understood the pleasure in being the one bringing them both to this. And too, in marking what was his. It was staking a claim. He may not have been the first there, but he'd be the last, as Asami was for him.

Still, he mused, collapsing onto Asami's chest, it was so much more fun when Asami did it. Being in charge was hard work.

 

 

Later, blinking out of a state of half sleep, Akihito realized he had no idea how much time had passed. Asami's eyes were closed, his breathing slow. He wasn't sure if he was sleeping, but decided to leave him for a moment. There were things he had to take care of.

He slipped out to the bathroom and started the heater on the tub, then took a soft wet cloth and towel back into the room. When he got there, he saw Asami lying on his back looking like he was floating in a pool of silk, staring at the ceiling.

Akihito settled onto the floor next to him. "I heated the bath," he said, shy once again. "And here." He held out the cloth. "If you want..." His voice dropped away.

Asami slowly turned his eyes to focus on him. "Yes." That was all he said, but he slid one foot up toward him, giving Akihito access. 

Akihito couldn't tell what he was thinking, and tried not to look at him while he gently wiped the sweat and semen away.

"It wasn't what I'd expected."

Akihito kept at his task, not sure if he wanted to hear more. But he asked anyway. "In a good or a bad way?"

"Neither. Both. It was eye opening."

"I thought you'd done it before."

"As sex, yes. Lovemaking, no."

Asami sounded like he was talking from someplace far away.

"Asami... are you okay?"

The man focused on him again. "Okay...? Yes, I'm fine." He reached up and slid his hand behind Akihito's neck, pulling him down into a deep kiss, then releasing him abruptly. "I don't ever want to do that again."

Akihito pulled away, hurt. "I... I'm sorry. I didn't want it to be bad."

"You misunderstand." Asami sat up and gathered his silk about him. "It was very good. You are in love as you are in everything, considerate and generous."

He blushed. To have Asami compliment him, to know he'd pleased his demanding lover... He'd never hang his head again. "But then why?"

Asami smiled slightly as he stood and held out his hand. "Let's take a bath."

"You're not going to answer me."

"No." Then Asami relented. "Let's just say that it served its purpose, and then some. Come."

The mantle of command was back. Now Akihito knew what it was to wear it, if only briefly, and he knew that removing it was as potent a choice as putting it on.

He reached up and took his lover's hand, rising to his feet, then his toes to kiss Asami softly on the lips. "Make love to me. Please."

Asami's eyes filled with something indescribable, Akihito didn't know what, he just knew it felt like sunshine on his skin. 

"Ah. I will." Sounding like he was saying something more.

Akihito's head tilted slightly in question, but as usual he got no answer, just a tug of the hand leading him as Asami always did. Only this time, Asami didn't loose his hand, but walked holding it, entwining their fingers. And this time, Akihito followed, head held high. 

 

~end~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This is an exercise I needed to write before the above would work for me. I was having a heck of a time figuring out Asami's reaction to the sex until I did this. I don't usually share stuff like this, but given the story I thought you might find it interesting.

 

Asami's POV:  
Akihito's confusion was delightful. The way he stammered and blushed his way through the simplest expressions of command was erotic beyond belief. 

Asami like pushing Akihito past his comfort zones. He liked making him admit that he wanted what he thought he never could. He liked making him face himself. And he loved the fight he always put up at the merest mention of the slightest kink.

What they was doing tonight was high-kink for them. Akihito may have brought it up, but he was completely unprepared for the reality.

Asami was finding out that he was too.

He'd bottomed before. It wasn't that. But it had been about the sex, futilely attempting to wring pleasure from the encounter, then a parting of ways, no strings, no ties.

This was different. This was a shy young man, his lover, his love, trying his damnedest to please him because of the depth of his feelings.

He was moved. Who would not be? For the first time, both emotion and sex were being made gifts instead of his having to take it. They were inseparable. For the first time, he had some inkling of an understanding of why women were so emotional about sex.

And it was dangerous.

He'd ride the train, just this once. But then he'd get off and never look back.

~~


End file.
